There is a story out there about this guy who got ejected from a Yankees game for getting up to pee during “God Bless America,” and the pursuant outrage at either the Orwellian response or the treasonous nature of the pisser in question. It seems that Steinbrenner has a rule in place that there should be no excessive movements during the mandatory patriotism, and the NYPD is all too happy to enforce it. The story is interesting enough, but it is not what I care to discuss today. Rather, the justification, or lack of excuses for this and other types of thought bullying is what I am concerned with.

To open, let me state that I have the unfortunate habit of reading the comments threads underneath stories that I believe will provide opinionated fodder. You would think that I would have learned at least two things by now:

1) Any story/video/word/existence of any kind, no matter how neutral or disinterested, will create heated debates, and

2) This response will almost never be insightful, respectful, or meant to create a better society.

Of course, these two rules apply to all sides of the issue, no matter from whom or where the opinion is coming. Were I to be fair, I should assault comments in general, but I do not have time for that (and besides, I would have to lump in the comments from our beloved site, which are generally in the top 2% in terms of being logical and generous to the other view). No, the one sort of remark that I wish to discuss goes something along the lines of: “If you don’t like it, leave my country.”

Why does this particular comment feel so acerbic to me? Quite a few reasons, actually. One prominent reason is that it is applied almost as frequently as analogies to Hitler and Nazism. “You don’t like the way I advocate violently assaulting homosexuals because they’re an abomination to god? Move to France, pussy!” “You think that we shouldn’t have the right to enforce patriotism because it seems hypocritical in light of our otherwise extolling the freedoms of our country? You’re free to leave my country anytime, commie.” “You don’t like the lack of flavors at our ice cream parlor? Get out of my country!”

I’m not sure why the solution is always for the person who finds a flaw to eject themselves from the situation. I have heard quite a few Catholics complain of abuses, hypocrisy, and blatant cover-ups, but they don’t necessarily just jump ship. When you are so invested in an ideology (or perhaps large geographical locale where you hold citizenship) it is not often feasible to simply abort yourself and move on. What is more reasonable is to illustrate what you see to be flaws so that they can be discussed and, if necessary, corrected.

Another reason is that the response is so purely illogical it makes bile rise in my throat whenever I read it. The insinuation is that our country is the greatest, and if you can’t appreciate that, then you should move somewhere else to bitch and complain—but of course once you’re gone you will realize what you should have seen all along. So, our country is great because we have all of these rights to express views, but actually expressing them is stupid and whoever does so should leave (unless their views are pro-America)? And the best sort of America would be one where all and only people who were 100% zealots lived here so that no one would ever have to be exposed to dissent? Also, the country in fact belongs only to those who unconditionally love her and those who hold power, such as Steinbrenner?

Fuck. I don’t know why I let myself get so worked up about this sort of thing, but it really irks me when people are so lazy about their arguments that the best they can muster is suggesting expatriating as a solution. Sometimes I feel like vcolson: “If anyone posting ‘if you don’t like this country, then leave it’ is older than 9, you should be deported for incompetence.” I hate to think what the suggestion would be if I complained about the planet or people in general.

Oh, and if you didn’t like this article, leave my country.

–Casimir

Ever since I read some cheesy novel way back when about video games that would adopt characters to be slaughtered that would look like the enemies of the gamer, I knew it was only a matter of time before technology allowed us to do just that. Frankly, I expected the Grand Theft Auto series to be the first to allow gamers to upload visages of hated ones to be hacked, shot, stabbed, and mauled to death. Looks like EA beat Rockstar to the punch, pun intented.

 Yes, EA’s new game FaceBreaker allows the gamer to import any image and create a boxer with whatever characteristics desired and then either dominate the ring, or savor them getting the snot kicked out of them by another. One of the promo videos even blatantly alludes to the fact that you could just as easily upload a picture of your own naked ass or the genitalia of whatever porn star/deformed dwarf you choose. Then, as if this were even a good idea, you can share the pictures online.

Granted, the producer looks like just the sort of tool who would perceive this being a good idea, but honestly, does the medium really need any help coming up with obscene/violent user created content? He and whoever else had a part in this probably imagined they were the first ones to ever conceive of such a concept, but I promise you they are not. Most others probably realized the implications of parents coming home and watching their 11 year old son kick the digital shit out of his algebra teacher, or having a giant penis head in perfect pugilistic form as it wails on a double D breast atop a twiggy anorexic body.

–Casimir

Ok, so…Batman.  I know, I know.  It may be a little late to throw my proverbial hat into the ring for reviews of The Dark Knight.  It’s been released in theaters for like three weeks now.  It’d be like me biking in the Tour De France and coming in fifty-sixth and then writing a book about how I’m an inspiration.  But, I wanted to make mention of the film for at least one of two reasons; it was pointed out to me – quite brazenly I might add – that I haven’t posted here in quite some time with the suggestion of reviewing Batman even brought to attention.  Secondly, the movie was fucking great.

I can proclaim with a certain air of pride and prowess that I have been a life-long Batman fan.  A Batfan, if you will.  While Batman’s existence stretches far prior to my birth, he has been a portion of my young life since I was able to create and retain memories.  With that said, I have been torn between polar opposites in my feelings toward the theatrical releases from the franchise.  It seems much as Goldilocks had to make her way through porridge not to her liking before reaching that which was just right, so too did we have to consume sub-par Batmans until finding our bowl of fucking awesome.

Christian Bale as Batman really has been a new breath of life in the series as a film.  Even starting in Batman Begins, you could feel an elevation in overall quality.  This quality has been escalated again in The Dark Knight to a level not so easily reached.  All the major character roles in the film were seemingly perfectly cast.  The fictitious character of Rachel Dawes being changed from Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhaal felt like a definite step in the right direction.  No offense Katie, but for some reason when I see you speak, I involuntarily vomit.  I may need to consult a physician.

I found the plot extraordinarily engaging, where multiple times throughout assuming the film it could easily have ended but persisted anyway.  Note that this is not a criticism, but more a welcomed break from the laden predictability in typical story-telling of this genre.  I like being able to say out loud in the theater, “Ahh, Gotham is safe once again, thanks Batman…oh shit, wait!  No, it isn’t!”

The action sequences and bat-technology introduced in the film kept right in line with the grandiosity and outrageousness I have come to expect from the caped crusader.  Using everyone’s cell phones as a jazzy kind of sonar?  Count me in.

The one thing from the film that I’m continually reminded of when remembering experiencing it is The Joker.  People have been praising this movie for many reasons, but I would wage to say that Mr. Ledger almost single-handedly made this film.  The Joker as portrayed in The Dark Knight was spot on.  I’m not sure it’s necessarily fair to compare this Joker with the original Jack Nicholson however.  I think both are superb and extremely well-done for their time and place.  But, The Dark Knight’s Joker was the kind of Joker I had been waiting to see.  A character that is psychotic and is driven not by greed or power, but by the simple fact that he can be evil and doesn’t see a reason why he shouldn’t be.

The Joker as played by Heath Ledger is a perfect opposite to Christian Bale’s Batman.  Using Batman’s own sense of justice and morality to push him closer to that gray divide between “good” and “evil” even stating in the film that one just can’t exist without the other, even to the point where killing Batman would be no fun.  I was saddened to realize that we will never again be able to see this Joker on the big screen, but as pointed out to me by Cas, due to Mr. Ledger’s death, we also won’t have to see this Joker potentially ruined by a sequel (if you can even call it that at this point) for reasons outside the realm of acting.

I guess it seems a little pretentious to make the claim that I didn’t dislike anything about the film.  I plan to return to the theater and watch it at least once more to perhaps be able to actually wrap my head around the totality of what I am experiencing.  I have heard a complaint from a couple coworkers in the vocal modulation between Bruce Wayne and Batman.  I guess I can admit that it is a little off-putting at first – Granted Mr. Bale played it that way in Batman Begins as well – but, personally I really liked the raspy, guttural Batman.

Plus, in its defense, it serves a practical purpose.  Previous Batmans all talked the same as Bruce.  Not a single character in the movies picks up on that?  If my dad put on a costume one day where only his eyes and chin were exposed, but talked exactly the same, I think I would know it’s my fucking dad.  So, it actually makes sense he would alter his voice while wearing the suit.  Would it have been better to hear a high-pitched alto screeching its way past that mask.  Doesn’t really strike the same fear in the hearts of evildoers.

I think ultimately this review may have been more interesting if I had bashed the movie for several paragraphs because at least that would be different, instead of regurgitating the same praises as others.  But, when a film made this well and keeps within the spirit of the original medium but eluding that campy, corny feel that other attempts have fallen into, it really does deserve the adulation and recognition associated with such a feat.  Peace.